Fifth Letter to Tahira
Yes my daughter, you have understood the meaning of "Moaddah" (affection)
correctly. In the dark ages Arabs used to bury their daughters alive. The Quran came to
eradicate all kinds of cruelty, discrimination and exploitation. Therefore, it is
impossible to believe that such a barbaric custom has survived.
Custom of Female Infanticide
The custom was forbidden, and it took a few years for this barbaric and soul-searing
custom to be eradicated from this world completely. The Quran has mentioned in its typical
attractive and logical style, that when that innocent girl would present her case before
God against her murderer, the father, then the criminal would be asked as to what crime
this helpless innocent life had committed for which he, the killer, had been so cruel to
her. What answer will he have? It is so obvious.
Muslims are happy that, by the grace of God, this earth-shaking barbaric custom came to
an end. It is worth celebrating. But Tahira, if you look a bit deeper, you will see that
this beastly and inhuman custom still prevails in the world. Perhaps you will wonder as to
which lawless land can still practise such a degrading custom, during this age of
civilization, culture and enlightenment. A custom in which people still bury their
daughters alive! But you will be extremely amazed when you are told that this
heart-rending custom is actually being practiced in our country, by our nation and in our
homes. We see this high-handedness, and do not feel for it at all. We ignore references to
this custom in the Quran, by saying that it is about dark period of the Arabs that this
horrible custom refers to, and that it has nothing to do with us.
Custom Is Still Alive!
Tahira, you know that the Quran considers every unjustified murder to be the worst
crime. But this type of 'murder' (burying girls alive) is most horrible and barbaric
because it involves a helpless baby, too young and unable of defending herself, and this
makes it most unjustified murder. Just look around you and see how many such murders are
committed right in front of your eyes. Moreover, the murderer goes about (blatantly) and
displaying the blood on is sleeves, and none of the minnows of law and order can apprehend
him.
Tahira, I can well imagine the torment your heart might be passing through after
reading the above line; and I cab well imagine your inquisitive eye looking in vain for
signs of such unjustified murder. But I really wonder whether your searching eye, looking
far and wide, noticing this little baby Zubaida who has been deprived of her mother and is
now being reared by her maternal grandmother. Perhaps, you have not seen her deceased
mother or you do not know how she died.
Waywardness of Rasheed
You may not even know that this girl is the daughter of Rasheed, who was arrested and
imprisoned the other day from his gambling den. Rasheed's waywardness is not new. He has
been like that since his childhood. He was still small when his father died. In a nation
that has lost its collective life, its orphans either starve to death; or if they are well
provided for at home but are without the guidance of a proper guardian, they become
wayward and insolent. (It is a great achievement to be able to display real good character
while having led the life as an orphan). As a child Rasheed was the apple of his mother's
eye but, as he grew up, he started keeping bad company. His waywardness was no secret.
Sometimes some elder members of the family would chastise him, but it was not really like
the concern of a real father who, even if his child was being insolent or rude would still
do not give up worrying about its welfare. Mother used to simmer with anguish but who
would listen to her?
Shakira's Mother
Rasheed was a worthless vagrant, and nobody liked him. But God knows what came into
Shakira's mother's head, that she insisted on giving her daughter's hand in marriage to
Rasheed. Their family opposed it; relatives and near and dear ones were all against it;
and the neighbours and residents of the area, in fact anybody who heard about it, opposed
it. But she turned a deaf ear to everybody. Leave alone everybody else, even Rasheed
opposed this proposal. But Rasheed's and Shakira's mothers were in favour of it. If ever
any body would question Shakira's mother, she would bluntly reply that, "I had given
my daughter to my sister, when my baby was still a suckling. Now I shall either send her
in a palanquin to my sister's house, or her coffin would depart from my threshold.
Shakira was a serious, quiet, understanding and a sensitive girl. According to the
restrictions of our present society, a girl's expression of an opinion about her proposal
is considered such a great sin, that there is no atonement for it. Furthermore, Shakira
has a taciturn disposition, but sometimes it used to be hinted by her friends and
well-wishers that she foresaw the dark future, and that her mother's insistence was her
deathknell. Her last ray of hope was that Rasheed himself was against this proposal. This
might save her from hell.
Wedding
But then it was the obstinacy of Rasheed's mother: "If you oppose me son, I shall
take poison and commit suicide. I have given word to my sister and now I cannot back out
of it", she insisted. The result was that they fixed a date, the marriage party came
and all the rituals were performed. At the end, just before the send-off, they thought of
another custom. The registrar of marriage contracts, the witnesses, and even the
bridegroom, all knew about how both of them had been brought together unwillingly. But
because of the fear of the groom's mother's annoyance, the bride's social stigma; the
witnesses' integrity and the Priest's greed for his fee, nothing was considered amiss in
the "will of God" and the Nabi's Sunnah. The marriage ceremony was performed.
The relevant sermon was delivered. People offered lengthy supplications. Trumpets were
blared, congratulations were bestowed. The Bride was brought home, which was suitably
adorned. Tahira, just ponder on that relationship of matrimony (Nikah) which Quran calls a
solemn covenant (4:21), and the prime condition for which is that both parties execute it
willingly. Only pondering over all its aspects, should anything be decided for the future.
But performing it the way it was performed for Shakira is openly ridiculing the divine
law. Now we treat matrimony as a trivial custom, and the Priest recites a few memorized
verses meant for such an occasion. Even, if they take those verses seriously, they would
discover many a marital bliss in them, (but talk about matrimony only, the whole of Din
has become a lifeless ritual to us.)
Anyway, this was how Shakira started her married life. She reached her in-laws place.
Nothing special happened, and time passed. But it could be seen that rosy Shakira was
gradually turning into an autumn leaf. Although she tried her best to tactfully prevent
Rasheed from his misdeeds, by covering up, or by serving him well, or by many sacrifices,
Rasheed was a gone case. In the beginning it was indifference which gradually turned into
hate and then enmity. At home she had the solace of her mother-in-law's company, but
adversity does not strike alone. In less than a year Rasheed's mother passed away. Now
Shakira became more helpless and Rasheed more dauntless. He frequented the house less and
less, and mostly would remain out. Shakira's jewellery was the only attraction for him at
home. Whenever he needed them, he would come to snatch them away. Shakira's simple father
was a poor man, and although he could have afforded a few morsels for his daughter,
Shakira was "thankful" person and literally lived up to her name; she would
never let anybody know that she was starving. Her parents' house was just next door, but
she would not let them know about her toils. Quietly she tried her hand at earning
something, but there could never be a stable means of livelihood for a tormented girl. She
had to work extremely hard to earn a pittance. By the grace of God the whole locality knew
her and they were all in fact her near relatives. She used to see all the goodies coming
to other houses, but she never manifested any discontentment. Many a time it happened that
as she was about to her first meal of the day, Rasheed gate-crashed from somewhere and
Shakira would quietly put that meal in front of him. He had his meal and went out
grumbling (one never knows he might be beating her, taking with him whatever he saw in the
house worth taking.)
As I have mentioned, the whole of that locality consisted of her relations. But,
Tahira, this is the biggest curse of an individualistic life-style. In times of need you
are alone. As you have seen, Shakira's poor father was a simple man. All he could do as a
last resort was to implore Rasheed and to serve him to the best of his capacity. But this
kind of sacrifice is appreciated only where there is a fraction of humanity left. But
Rasheed used to receive all this gestures of goodwill from his poor in-laws as his right,
and expected them to feel obliged. Despite all this Shakira never complained. The agony
took its toll but she never let anybody know. She would cry when alone, but nobody ever
saw her eyes moist. Her condition became known when her constant crying affected her
eye-sight. Her eyes ached for two months. When she was slightly better, it was discovered
that her eye-sight had become quite weak. Now she could not do any of those things through
which she previously used to earn money. Whatever was in the house was gradually taken by
Rasheed. Finally Shakira could not hide her malady. She had become skin and bones. Her
friends would suggest that it was no use worrying, because worrying would not help. She
would hear them and smile, and you could see every pain written in her eyes in bold
letters. She would become quiet, and her condition kept on deteriorating day by day.
Rasheed could not care less that a precious life was dwindling. Goodness knows since when
she was having fever, but she never told anybody. When it became constant, it was
discovered that she was suffering from chronic fever. It was winter and on one cold
evening, somebody mentioned that police had arrested Rasheed on some vagrancy charges, and
that they were not letting him off because he could not pay the required ten rupees.
Shakira was wearing a woolen shawl, her last asset and her life-line. She got up quietly
and sent it to neighbour for it to be sold. Although it was a fine shawl, she could hardly
get ten rupees for it. She took the money and gave it to Rasheed's uncle to pay the fine.
Now she could not even protect herself against cold. Fever persisted and her life was like
a lamp on its last flicker. With difficulty, her mother brought Shakira to her house and
whatever treatment she could afford, was being given to her daughter.
Shakira had become all the more quiet. When she saw her parents struggling for
medicines or resorting to prayers for her well-being, she would ask a friend of hers to
tell parents not to resort to any treatment, and to let her die.
Eternal Silence
Rasheed never turned up, even by chance, to inquire about her welfare. Then one day he
did come and sat near Shakira's bed-head. She looked up raising her eye-lashes, saw
Rasheed and smiled, the same smile that would reveal the depth of her heart on seeing
every new trouble, and which was like a surgeon's knife cutting through all our man-made
laws and restrictions. A tear came to her eyes, her eye-lashes became moist and a hiccup
broke the last life-line. And Shakira, the picture of quiet anguish, was eternally
silenced.
Dear Tahira, just think, can there be any instances more distressing and inhuman than
this? Just ponder how many such innocent lives are wasted because of this repression. And
your society does not bat an eye for them. Tahira, you will say that corrective measures
are being adopted to ameliorate such cruelties. Last year a law for the right of women to
divorce was promulgated, to remedy such obstacles. There is no doubt about the good
intention of such corrective suggestions. But what generally happens is that such
corrective measures, instead of being beneficial for genuine cases, become manipulative
tools in the hands of fraudulent people and as such defeat their purpose. Instead of
eradicating the cases of evil, our corrective steps get bogged down and meet with little
success.
Reformation
It is no use applying ointment to the eruptions and boils of a patient whose blood is
contaminated. One eruption would be cured but two more would surface elsewhere. The real
remedy would be to purify the blood. Today the whole structure of our society is
disintegrating. Therefore the real remedy would be its reformation and reconstruction from
scratch. The foundations of such new construction should not be laid merely on the letter
of the law, but on spirit of the law, too. Unless and until one adheres to the spirit of
the law there could be no change in people's hearts and minds. No aspect of society could
be reformed because the change depends upon the change in minds and hearts of the people.
This change is not possible unless and until man-made laws are replaced by Divine laws.
God be with you!
Parwez
June 1954 |