Fourth Letter to Tahira
No, my dear girl, not like this. Sabira underwent the same thing that happened to that
princess who was unpacking the magic needles. Do you remember that story or have you
forgotten it? As a child you used to love hearing that story. You used to hear those
stories to go off to sleep, whereas now I want to tell you the same stories to wake you
up. They are the same stories except that their purpose has been changed. This does not
happen particularly to you; even great nations undergo the same process. During their
period of downfall, nations listen to the anecdotes of their past to be able to sleep (The
sleep of death). And for awakened nations, the same stories wake them up to a new life.
How a story affects, depends more on the listener rather than the story itself.
Story of the Princess
As far as I remember, the story of the Princess was like this. One day she found in her
garden a prince charming, lying quite still and unconscious. The whole of his body had
been pierced with pins. This scene frightened the Princess. She was about to run away
screaming when she heard a voice from somewhere, beckoning her not to feel afraid. The
Prince was under a magic spell, the voice told her. These needles could be removed from
the body, one per day. When the last needle would come off, the Prince would open his eyes
and he will marry the first woman he sets his eyes on. The Princess felt better and she
started taking out those needles, one everyday. It took her days, months, even years. But
the Princess, unmindful of everything in the world, kept on taking off those needles. Her
advancing years were a source of apprehension for her parents and well-wishers. They were
all accusing her of running after a mirage. But she would not listen to anyone, shunning
all the luxuries of the world. She was following her craze of the Prince and his needles.
She kept working on it for twelve years. Now there were only a few needles left-eight,
six, four, two and then one. When the last needle was left, the Princess's happiness knew
no bounds. Her whole world was awakening. She was imagining how the Prince would wake up
smiling and how they would get married; how her dream of twelve years would come true. She
thought she should don her bridal dress before she takes out the last needle. So she
busied herself in getting ready. She had a maid who knew everything. The minute the
Princess turned her back, the maid guiltily took off the last needle. The removal of the
last needle made the Prince wake up smiling, and thanking the maid a thousand times for
his release, he took her away to get married. When the Princess came back after having her
bath and changing, she found the Prince missing. She could not bear this shock and lost
her mind. That maid became the Princess and the mad Princess started gleaning the cities
and jungles for her Prince.
This was the story that your Grandma used to tell to you before you went to sleep. And
after hearing this story you used to remark angrily, "If I could get hold of that
maid, I will tie her to a tree and beat her black and blue until she releases the Prince
to the Princess!"
Zaidi and Sabira
My daughter, the same thing happened to Sabira. Zaidi and Sabira were brought up in the
same home. Zaidi lost his father in his childhood, and his father's brother accepted this
orphan as his child. Sabira and Zaidi grew up together. Girls in general are more
sensitive and delicate compared to boys, but Sabira in particular was more understanding
and gentle. When she came to know that Zaidi was an orphan, she felt more sympathetic
towards him. She would display her feelings by saving whatever fruit or sweet she got and
giving it to him quietly on his return from school. In the same manner whatever monetary
gifts she would receive on Eid, she would give them to Zaidi. In childhood the motive for
her innocent sympathies was that Zaidi did not have a father. Perhaps because of these
sympathetic gestures, or may be due to some unconscious sentiments, even Zaidi, in his
heart, kept on becoming closer to Sabira. Until one day when he matriculated he whispered
to his aunt, his wish of getting married to Sabira. Everybody in the family opposed this
proposal tooth and nail, including Sabira's mother. Zaidi's widowed mother was very much
in favour of this match but her poverty and widowhood were blocking her way. She could not
dare mention such a proposal. This friction remained in a family for sometime, and Sabira
remained silent. One day while talking to a neighbour, it slipped from Sabira's mother,
"How could she marry her daughter to a person who had been brought up on their
charity?" When Sabira heard this, she could not contain herself and breaking the ice,
she told her mother that it was no good that she hated an orphan. "God ordains us to
respect them. Now come what may, I am going to marry this poor orphan".
Zaidi always used to say, that the best day in his life was when Sabira asserted her
will in front of her mother. Therefore, they got married.
Sabira's Thriftiness
Sabira was a thrifty girl. In fact a clerk lives from hand to mouth. Over and above
themselves, it was his family of two brothers, a sister and a widowed mother to be
procured for and a loan of his father to be paid. But Sabira managing the house so
efficiently that nobody could guess that they were so poor. This management included quite
a bit of sacrifice on the part of Sabira in favour of her husband and his family. Whenever
she had some free time she used to collect some sewing orders from the neighbourhood,
which used to supplement her income. Sabira had to work very hard but she was happy to see
her husband happy and the thought of being able to look after and fully support a poor and
needy family used to make her feel good.
Zaidi was quite contented, but for a wish that he could get, better education. When
Sabira noticed her husband's chagrin, she started encouraging him. She first suggested
that after office hours, he join some evening classes in a college. But to do this Zaidi
had to give up that tuition which he was giving for the last one year to earn twenty-five
rupees. This idea was blocking Zaidi's way. Sabira solved this problem by herself teaching
three neighbouring children in the evening for thirty rupees per month. Gradually Zaidi
obtained his BA degree. After this he wanted to do his LLB degree to become a lawyer. For
this he had to give up his job because in those days, there were no evening classes for
law.
Sacrifice and Hard-work
This stage was very difficult (in fact it was rather impossible). But Sabira told Zaidi
not to worry. "If this is what you intend to do then leave your job. I shall start
teaching children during the day and work harder with my sewing. You continue your law
education. I will look after myself and procure for your education too." So Zaidi
joined Law College and Sabira surprised the world by putting her words into action and did
exactly what she said she would do. She used to be so busy that on some days, she would
only get three or four hours of sleep. She was working hard constantly, even with her
little daughter in her lap. She had a lovely innocent little girl.
Sabira constantly kept taking the needles off her 'Prince'. When Zaidi cleared his LLB,
Sabira thought her ordeal would be over, too. She would have some respite. Working so hard
for day and night had taken its toll on Sabira's health. But she did not care much for it.
She was happy that her husband's wish had been fulfilled. (And perhaps the subconscious
feeling that she was fulfilling all the deprivations, which Zaidi had suffered because he
was an orphan.)
Sabira could see that contentment still eluded Zaidi. There was something, which still
troubled him. She tried asking him many times but Zaidi brushed her inquiries away. At
last one day, upon her insistence, Zaidi told her what he had been wishing since his
childhood, that he would go abroad and become a barrister. He would then be a big leader.
People would come to listen to his speeches and would take him out in processions. They
would be cheering him heartily. "Then I would become a member of the assembly and
later a minister. But all these wishes seemed to be destined to remain buried in my heart.
I am not worried for my mother since she is living with the younger brother. I am worried
on your account only. If you could fend for yourself, then I could go abroad for my higher
education. But there seems to be no way out of this predicament". Sabira listened to
all this very carefully, but did not reply. After two or three days she said to Zaidi,
"I have done some deliberation over this problem. Do not worry on my account. I can
fend for myself and our daughter. You go ahead. May God fulfil your intentions; and it
would be my pleasure to see your efforts bear fruit. The biggest hurdle is the fare to go
abroad. Make my jewellery your stepping stone; and there is nothing else to worry
about".
Zaidi was stunned to hear this. His eyes were moist and he could not speak. He hugged
Sabira and cried. When after a while he could control his emotions, he could only stammer
and say, "Sabira, you are an angel from heaven and not a woman. You should be adored.
I did not deserve you. There is nobody on this earth luckier than I am who has got a wife
like you. Whatever I am feeling, I do not know how to express it. Sabira, you really
deserve all the adoration. All your life has been one of constant love and sacrifice and I
feel so ashamed that I have not been able to do much for you. Rather I have been the cause
of so much worry and discomfort to you. This was quite naive on my part to be wishing to
go abroad. I know you'll have to undergo a lot of inconvenience for it. I do not want to
trouble you any more. I give up the idea of going abroad. This is no justice that I would
have all my wishes fulfilled and you undergo a life of constant worry. No Sabira, I cannot
do that".
Zaidi wanted to say something more but Sabira cut him short by saying that if husband
and wife, too, started thinking in terms of "you and me", then where else would
one get cordial relationship? "You were the one to tell me that Nikah literally means
this kind of relationship, like sleep in the eyes. Therefore, why do you differentiate
between discomfort and happiness between husband and wife? Fulfilling all your wishes is
my pleasure. This is my decision that you must go abroad. Or rather let us say now it is
my wish, which is necessary for you to fulfil".
Meanwhile she heard the baby cry and Sabira went to her.
A few days passed arguing about the issue. Zaidi would say he would not go and Sabira
would insist that he should, until the day arrived when Sabira went to the station to see
Zaidi off. He was crying already; when he picked up his daughter in his arms he started
sobbing violently. Now Sabira, too, could not control herself and her cheeks were wet with
warm tears. The train left and Sabira did not have even the fare money so that she could
reach her parents' home. Zaidi noted all that in an article in a magazine published
abroad. The heading of that article was "Unbelievable".
Sabira went to a friend of hers, Parveen, to borrow some money so that she could reach
her parents' place. Parveen after hearing everything smiled and casually said: "You
should have gone along with Zaidi abroad yourself. Never trust these men. If he brought a
Ma'am from abroad then what would you do"?
Parveen said all that casually and in a joking manner but Sabira felt like strangling
her friend, she felt so bad. She controlled herself with difficulty and just said,
"Parveen, you do not know how much you have insulted me by saying this. You did not
understand whom were you talking about? You could not understand Nahid's father. You do
not know how far above ordinary men he is? You do not know what he is? Parveen, come what
may he would not look at another woman in the whole world"? Parveen felt sorry for
having hurt her friend.
Trials of Sabira
Sabira went to her father's house. He was a poor man and lived in a small town where
Sabira could not get any children to teach or any tailoring assignments either. She was
surrounded by misfortune but she was not discouraged by them. Her hard work and
intelligence came to her rescue and she kept fending for herself and for her daughter.
Sometimes she was even able to send some gift to Zaidi. This hard work told upon her
health, but if all this had any compensation, then that was her daughter's smiles and her
husband's loving and thankful letters. So when she used to lie down at night, tired, she
would hug her daughter and would start thinking of the easy life ahead. She would count
the days after which Zaidi would come back; then she used to weave her web of happiness
and would imagine how heavenly how heavenly it would be when he would come back. She would
be able to gather all the happiness in the world along with her husband and daughter.
There would be songs of joy on her lips. Her eyes used to get moist with such happy
thoughts, and then would go off to sleep, enclosing her tears of joy within her eye-lids
as a pearl does in its chamber under the waves of the ocean, forgetting all the trials and
tribulations of life.
Sabira kept on taking out the needles from her 'prince's body until just a few were
left. As these needles kept on becoming less and less, they brought back the freshness on
Sabira's face. Now there were a few months left for Zaidi's return. But Sabira felt that
just a she was becoming more enthusiastic about his coming back, his letters had become
devoid of love and more mechanical, and their frequency became less than before. It had
been a constant link before and she, due to her preoccupation, had to excuse herself for
not replying sooner, Now it was the other way round. Sabira had to complain for not
getting a reply to all her letters. The 'needles' were becoming less and less, but
Sabira's heart had been pounding quicker than before. She could not understand the reason
for this change. Sometimes she would have apprehensive and eerie ideas, but then she would
brush them off as superstitions. She would ask Zaidi about the date of his coming back but
he would beat about the bush; and the estimated date of return passed and Zaidi did not
come. Now Sabira became tongue-tied. Many weeks passed. It had been so many days since she
had heard from Zaidi. One day Sabira was sitting quietly, thinking about this, when the
postman called. Sabira eagerly went to the front door and took the letter. It was of
foreign mail. She opened it hurriedly only to find a newspaper cutting inside the
envelope. It was a photograph of Zaidi, along with a young girl, and the caption read,
"This newly married couple is proceeding to Switzerland for their honeymoon."
Sabira staggered and fell down. When she opened her eyes, she was in a hospital. The
doctor motioned the nurse to show her Nahid. Sabira patted her daughter's head and said in
a stammer, "My dear, I still have to live for you". And she fainted again.
After a few days the hard-boiled Sabira came home. She did not write anything to Zaidi.
Neither did he write any letter. However, Sabira's old father wrote a letter to Zaidi. In
reply to that he wrote back: "I do not know what crime I have committed to deserve
this dressing down which I am getting. When religious law allows it, then who are you to
be objecting to it? I care for Sabira more than you. I am responsible for them morally and
religiously. I am not a mean person that I shall be evading my responsibilities. I am a
gentleman and I intend fulfilling my obligations like a gentleman. Sabira can live
wherever she feels happy. Her happiness would be my happiness. I will keep on sending her
maintenance. If she wants to follow another path for her life, even then I would not be a
stumbling block. I have already said that her happiness makes me happy, too." When
Sabira's father replied this letter, Zaidi's next letter contained a divorce for Sabira.
Dear Tahira, take heart and wipe off your tears and read the whole letter. Look at me.
How do I start relating these stories to you, with a heavy heart? Either do not ask me to
tell you such harrowing stories, or if you do ask, then have a heart to be able to listen
to such tales of woe.
Now Mr. Salahudin Ahmed Zaidi, Bar-at-Law, is leading a gilt edged life. A palace to
live in; a car; servants; separate servant and nurses for the Madam; Nanny for children.
He has attained a high status in modern society because both husband and wife are quite
social. They are known in the clubs. Newspapers take a note of them, too. Now he is
thinking of becoming a leader. Since it is easier to become a leader through religion, Mr.
Zaidi is advising the nation to become "true and real Muslims". He delivers
emotional speeches about Islam. He writes lengthy articles in which he tries to depict the
true picture of Islam. He is about to become a leader, and you know that a Ministry is two
steps away.
Sabira's Condition
He is leading this kind of posh life and poor Sabira, on the other hand, is marking
time on her life in her parents' home. Nobody has ever heard her talk about this topic.
But we have heard that when Nahid pesters her for a story at night, then she relates the
story of the prince with needles, whereupon Nahid goes off to sleep. But Sabira keeps on
laughing her crazy laughter. Sometimes she automatically utters words such as
"Religious law", "morality" "gentle manliness",
"responsibility", and then laughs out so loudly that it sometimes wakes up the
people at home. Then her old father comes and says only this, "Dear Sabira, take
heart. You said you would live for Nahid. This brings Sabira to tears, tears that are
wiped by Mary's cloak, and then Sabira goes off to sleep.
Who is the Culprit?
I agree with you Tahira. Here Zaidi is not the only culprit. The bigger culprit is our
society which not only recognizes such culprits, but gives them a high status. Whereas
these people should not be allowed to come near decent people. The humanitarian level is
far too high, but if viewed from even a very mundane level, it would be quite clear that
if, for his ordinary wishes, a person can betray a wife like Sabira, could he be trusted
in other matters? But our society is at fault. If our society could focus on the correct
angle, then these type of wolves in lambs clothing could be chastised in no time.
But Tahira, I want you to attend to another aspect. Leave alone Zaidi and the society.
What would you say about that the woman who knowingly destroyed a home? She knew
everything, still she destroyed a member of her own sex. If only she would have cared a
little bit, Zaidi could not indulge in such an annoying act in humanity. Whereas our
society is raising Zaidi on a high pedestal, our women of high society are (in whose
predicament you remain so gloomy) accepting Mrs. Zaidi like a sacred idol. What do you
think of them?
Therefore, my daughter, everything here is chaotic; and women all riding the same boat.
Thank Goodness, Saleem came back safely, otherwise if he, too, would have quoted the
'religious laws', saying that the Shariat permits it. Then what could I or you have done?
This dagger is not only on people going abroad, here, too, it keeps on dangling. Which
area can boast of not having a house dismantled this way? Which lane does not hear the
sobs and sighs of people like Sabira? These sighs could belong to those who have been
divorced or those who had to put up with the usurpers. My dear daughter, I keep on praying
for you (and for daughters like you), for the stability of your marriage. May you and your
children and your grand children prosper. May you be happy and may your homes be safe from
any kind of disintegration. I cannot do anything more than praying, although I know that
such chaotic society cannot be set right with prayers or good wishes only. Its remedy
could only be effected if it could be re-constructed on purely Quranic lines.
God be with you
Parwez
April 1954 |